Sunday, January 11, 2009

Merry Christmas to all... and to all a Good Night!

Another year has come and gone (and another 8 weeks of bumming around home in my pyjamas have also come and gone... ) I will be flying out of Halifax on Friday morning- just a few short days away & am beginning to think that 8 weeks at home was probably a little bit too long of a vacation. Afterall- as humans- we adapt & when given the chance, we are able to easily adapt to our current surroundings and settle back to our previous environments... I am well aware that I need to do something more with my life than wake up at noon each day, read book after book, and indulge in bubble bath after bubble bath. My bank account needs refilling, there are about a billion more countries that I want to explore, and with the possibility of university just around the corner... my freedom clock is a ticking! Mind you- 8 weeks surrounded by the comforts of home & all that is familiar- it becomes that much harder to revert back to the "backpacker" lifestyle. There`s something rather comforting about having your clothes sit in a dresser, or to lie your head in a bed that consistently has the same comfort level. It`s nice to turn on the television and be able to tune into the comforts of the sitcoms you grew up with. Privacy & personal space are also much appreciated!
I know that I will be fine once I am on my way. I go through this little "freak out" every time it comes to leaving the comforts of a place I`ve adapted to. If I remember correctly, I was on the verge of a panic attack last year when it came to leaving for Australia- I thought every ache & pain I experienced was a sign that I shouldn`t go. It seems like a lifetime ago now, but when I was leaving the country pub in Western Australia- I remember thinking to myself "I wonder if I could get away with just one more night- I CAN`T LEAVE NOW!"--- and going through my breathing exercises to relieve the immense symptoms of anxiety I was feeling as I rolled my luggage along the hallway of the Inn. Again- within mere hours I was quite content with my life moving forward.

I can`t help but feel a little bit apprehensive about embarking on another adventure- What if things don`t go as smoothly as last time? What if I hate the people I work for, the job, the town? What if this year doesn`t even compare to the last one?

Nevermind. There`s no reason for me to be frightened or weary. Everything will be ok- it always is. The psychic told me that being brave enough to pack up all my things and ship myself over to Australia was the best thing that I could have ever done for myself (and she was right!)- and that it was just the beginning... I am thankful that I booked my flight to arrive back in Perth because it does make it a bit easier. I know the city, I know that there is work and where to fing it, and I know some other backpackers that I can call upon if need be. I can`t even imagine how scary the idea of heading back to Australia would be if I were arriving in a brand new city!

I just have to keep telling myself- "This is no big deal! You`ve done it many times before & it was easy as pie. You can do this again... It`s what you love best."

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