I WANT TO HAVE MY CAKE AND EAT IT, TOO!!!!!!

Like a true vagabond, three months spent in the same place is making me antsy. Like a wild animal frantically gnawing at it`s cage wanting to break free, the bubble that is Coogee is slowly starting to suffocate me--- it`s time to put a plan together for my escape from Coogee at the beginning of June.

These past few days, it`s been getting to me that I have allowed myself to get as comfortable as I have here in Coogee and have strayed so far from my original plans. Why havn`t I been updating my blog? Why havn`t I looked for volunteer social work? Why havn`t I been more active? Why havn`t I taken in more of the sites here in Sydney? I`ve allowed myself to become too comfortable, too wrapped up in the party scene, too wrapped up in my social life, too wrapped up in a certain American rugby guy...

It`s time to redeem myself ... it`s time to re- examine the goals I set out for myself prior to venturing out on this journey of mine. My travel is meant to have "direction." I don`t know how it happened- or when--- but somehow my sense of direction led me to being lost in the bushes. It`s time to find my way back to the "road."

I thought about traveling over to New Zealand or making my way up the East Coast of Australia like all the other backpackers are doing, but when I really sat down and thought about these options, the clearer it became that I have absolutely no desire to see these places. These past few days, I`ve contemplated venturing up to the Southeast Asian countries I would have loved to have visited last year at this time. However, the more I thought about it, the guiltier I started to feel at the idea considering I`ve been lying on a beach for the past four months. Another month of lazing around Southeast Asian beaches may be a little too much... This morning, I was sipping my coffee in front of the computer at work when a new idea dawned on me! On a whim, I googled "volunteering in the Philippines," and I was instantly falling in love with the idea of volunteering with street children in the Philippines for a fraction of the price I`ll be paying for my October- December volunteer stint in Ecuador. I have been feeling so selfish for not looking for volunteer work here in Sydney--- 4 week`s in a social program in the Philippines could make up for my lack of effort here! There`s just one problem--- I`m also in need of taking some Psych courses via distance education and I`m not certain that I could be in the Philippines while attempting to complete the course. There would be an exam scheduled for the end of June, and I can`t assume that internet will be readily available in such an underdeveloped country. The dilemma- which merits higher on a university application: life experiences vs. prerequisite courses???

And so it goes--- "I WANT TO HAVE MY CAKE AND EAT IT, TOO!!!!!!!!!!!"