Goodbye to you, Surfside!

Well- this is it! As I sit here typing this final blog entry from my desk at Surfside, the large pointer on the clock is slowly pushing its way toward ten o`clock... marking the grande finale to my stint here in Coogee! Only the unknown rests ahead...

I`m not so much worried about setting out for unfamiliar territory. What really worries me is being alone again. For the past five months, I`ve been constantly surrounded by other people. I`ve been constantly hunted down, bombarded with questions, and bothered. There have been virtually no moments of personal space, utter quietness, or "alone" time. In fact, the first few months in room #3 at Surfside were characterized by 20 girls virtually living on top of one another, waiting in line hours for a crack at the washroom. I have never had to eat alone, watch television alone, or so much as cross the street on my own. In fact, I can`t even remember the last time I was REALLY able to concentrate on the television. I`m so accustomed to having to strain to hear the television over the giggles and stories being passed around by the other girls. I`m used to constant chatter, endless evenings out on the town, dinner dates, and group junk food binges in front of the television! Tomorrow night, I shall find myself all alone in a hotel room and I`m not quite sure how I will deal with it giving the fact that I`m so used to having to share everything with everyone... The very idea of it seems almost eerie!

This afternoon, I stocked up on books to see me through the next six weeks. If worse comes to worse, I`ll just pull out a good read. Plus, there`s always facebook as a means to keep up with the rest of the world. Besides, I`m heading out to some of the shopping capitals of the world. There`s nothing quite better than spoiling yourself with new "comforts" from the shopping plaza... hehe... And when all else fails, there`s always the poor vendor dude at the end of the street who is always looking for someone to talk to... (good lord--- let`s hope it doesn`t come to this! hehe)

I wouldn`t even know where to begin if asked to sum up my past few months in Coogee living the hostel life. It`s had its ups & its downs. There have been numerous moments when I`d wanted to run screaming. There have been times when I`d wanted to pull out all of my hair. There have been times when I`ve questioned my backpacking ambitions. On the other hand, there have been LOTS OF LAUGHS, lots of great nights out, lots of friendships made & lots of lessons learned.

On that note- it is time to say good night, put the Coogee chapter behind me, and move toward the next... Goodbye to you, Surfside!

Damage Done

This morning I finished reading the memoir "Damage Done" by Warren Fellows. It is one man`s account of years spent in a Thai prison after he was arrested for drug trafficking heroine between Australia and Thailand. I have never in my life read anything so graphic and gruesome! I didn`t even know it possible to write in such a way! The book details the inhumane treatment of criminals in the Thai prisons--- from fattening up cockroaches to feast on them, spending hours wading in a sewage tub full of crap, vomit, and pee, watching men being beat to death before your eyes and then having the body remain in your cell for days, shooting up heroine from the intestines of a pig to get a hit, feasting on cats and sewage rats, being beaten, tortured, slaughtered...

DAMAGE DONE ALRIGHT!!!! I don`t know who suggested to me that I read such a nightmarish book only 5 days before I myself make my way into these Southeast Asian countries. These often corrupt countries. I know that in this case the author had indeed been guilty of drug trafficking, but you also hear stories of innocent travelers being caught with drugs that were planted by the law officials themselves (looking for a money bribe!)...

WOW!!! I have to admit that the book freaked me out a little bit... sigh... Time for me to head to the bookshelf and find myself a nice light read... sunshine & lollipops...rainbows & teddy bears...

A tug at my heart strings...

Sitting in my room with a troubled & lonely Cambodian girl last night reinforced my thoughts of wanting to work in a social worker position, preferably with an international component: international adoptions, refugee counseling, etc... As I sat watching this poor woman fall apart before me & listened to her pain--- it felt so unbelievably good to be able to be there for her... even if it was just lending an ear to her...

Working, living, & breathing the hostel--- surrounded by my group of friends who`ve been here as long as I have--- I admit that I can be pretty ignorant at times. I go about my day without really giving much attention to newcomers. I`ll extend a "hello" here & there, but that`s about it. For example, a few nights ago, a tiny Asian woman checked into the apartment. I was busy getting ready to go out and meet the Banffers in the city, so although I noticed her, a man, and a child settling into the corner bed near the washroom--- I wasn`t really paying too much attention to the scene.

The next two days that followed, I`d enter and exit the room, offering a simple greeting---going in & out of my room, thereby passing the Asian girl who most times would be quietly reading a magazine on the couch. I don`t think I was mean, but I also wasn`t going the extra mile to make small chat...

Last night at around 12:30 am, I took a quick jaunt up to reception to make sure things were under control (the drinking hangout). When I got back to apartment #3, this poor Asian girl was sitting alone on the couch, tears streaming down her face. I sat on the opposite couch and asked her if she was okay. Next thing I know--- she`s sobbing as she breaks down and tells me that she just arrived from Cambodia and is in Australia visiting her 6- year old daughter.

Six years ago, an Aussie traveler in Cambodia got her pregnant. Once the baby was born. By means of actions (because her English isn`t exceptional and the word caesarian is probably not one that she uses too often) I was able to understand that it had been a very difficult birth (as she`s just a tiny little thing). While she was recovering, the boyfriend had fled the country with the baby to come raise it in Australia. By the time the poor woman was able to seek legal aid in Cambodia, he already had a case built up--- he could provide a better life for the baby in Asutralia than she could ever possibly in Cambodia. This woman lives in Cambodia raising two other children---- one of her sister`s (a sister who was beaten to death by her own husband), and the other child whose mother died from HIV when she was just a baby. Anyways, don`t kid yourselves that this generous Aussie man flies the woman of his child in every year to see her. After years of struggling, the courts finally told him that he would have to fly her in once a year for one month and allow her $5/day spending money while in- country. Because her budget is $5/day, she can`t even afford to go anywhere in the city to explore (in Cambodia her income is $50 a month so it`s not like she can save to come here). Apparently there are about 8 members in her family, all of whom live in a one- room shack back in Cambodia. The things she was telling me about the standard of living in Cambodia were heartbreaking...

Anyways, the reason she was so upset and broke down in front of me is because she was supposed to see her daughter that day, but the father didn`t show up. Here I sat face to face with this heart broken woman --- who is struggling in a foreign country--- no money--- can barely speak the language--- frightened--- heartbroken--- and feeling all alone. I`m telling you--- it tore at my heart strings as I sat there listening to her. We watch movies about the sex trade in the Philippines, girls being kidnapped for ransom, White men buying Asian woman & children and it`s almost too shocking to believe. But it is very much real.... this woman is a prime example. An example of a woman who put her trust in a White man, only to be thrown aside like garbage and robbed of the only thing she ever really cared about... her baby girl.

The story of her daughter being taken from her was not the only heartbreaking part of the conversation. She also expressed her sadness at her age. She told me that what makes her most sad about losing her daughter to Australian society is that she knows in her heart that it will be her only one. Through her tears, she told me that any girl as skinny as she is considered a lepur in Cambodia. The men will automatically think she has AIDS and keep their distance. She also said that her age is a major factor. She says that at 28 no men will even give her a second thought. Women in Cambodia have babies at 14, 15, 16. They are desirable when they are young. Once a woman reaches 25 or 26--- it is almost impossible to find a man.

I sat awake for a long while last night trying to take it all in. I couldn`t shake the picture that had formed in my head--- A tiny frightened Cambodian woman who can barely speak English sitting down with a confident Australian little girl who speaks a mile a minute in English and who wouldn`t recognize even a word in Cambodian... A girl who is growing up with everything and who has no idea the extent to which it breaks her mother`s heart to have to stand by and watch from afar. F*CK!

I`ve been a bit apprehensive at the idea of leaving for the Philippines very shortly--- but listening to this woman`s story helped me to realize that there is nothing to be afraid of. I want to be of help and service to others who find themselves in less than desirable situations just like Samnang...

Feeling a wee bit Blue.. Fearing there will be some Nostalgia...

Nostalgia: a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time...= Surfside?

Any place I`ve ever been or any job I`ve ever had, I`ve counted down the days to my last & have been ready more than anything to leave. I find that with traveling, I always arrive at that point when every last bit of me recognizes that it is time to keep on trekking--- to leave the current job, current dwelling, current friends, and current town behind & to keep moving forward.

I`m just not sure that I`ve reached that point yet here in Coogee. The truth of the matter is- I`m moving on because the plan I laid out for this journey dictates to me that it is time for me to leave. It`s telling me that I must move on to bigger things--- that my station is elsewhere if I want to accomplish everything in time to go home for Christmas. With a week left in Coogee (at Surfside)--- I`m feeling a little bit Nostalgic. I`m fearing that the minute I walk out these hostel doors that I`ll be filled with feelings of longing to be back in room #3 surrounded by the familiarness.

Before I arrived at the hostel, I doubted the very idea that there could be a job out there that I`d actually want to go to each day. I couldn`t imagine such a job that would actually have me want to get out of bed for in the morning, or in which I`d actually not be bothered with putting in a few extra unpaid hours. The truth of the matter is--- while I do get annoyed from time to time with the immaturity of some backpackers, or the repetitiveness of their demands--- I enjoy the social bit, the laid back feel of coming to work and not having someone looking over my shoulder, the hours, the location, the tasks, being able to relate to my surroundings and being surrounded by so many other wandering souls (as it seems to justify my own). Coming to work is not a chore. It is not something I dread or could cry at the very thought of. It is by no means the most glamorous job there is going--- but I love the responsibility, the freedom, the perks, the location... I really do like it a lot! And so as I continue my journey and close the doors to the "Surfside Chapter" I am in fact feeling rather blue...

But despite the feelings of apprehension that I am experiencing, "what must be must be..."

Indian food, chocolate cake.... & Leonie!!!

Thursday, May 22:

Living in Sydney is characterized by the constant influx of Banff faces... This week brought with it a surprise visit from my old roomie from Banff, Leonie... Leonie, who has been busy traveling & working throughout Canada and the USA over the past year and a half, decided on a whim that it was time for her to return home to Australia (she`s from Perth but decided to pay a visit to Shaina & I on her way home).

Tonight, Shaina and Leonie decided to come visit me over at Surfside and I couldn`t have been more excited. Honest to god--- the build up to seeing some familiar faces--- I felt like a "fat kid in a candy store" (pardon the not particularly tasteful mataphor...hehe)

Once the girls arrived at the hostel, we busied ourselves with preparing some butter chicken curry... and it was delicious!!! Here are a few pics from the reunion...

I travel alot...

... I hate having my life disrupted by routine (hehe)

Only another 10 days remain to my "Coogee" travel chapter. On the one hand, I am thrilled at the idea of exploring new destinations, witnessing new ways of life, and meeting new people. I am setting out on a resume building journey, thereby setting the ground work for my future career! I`m looking forward to living cheaply, working with children again, increasing my perspective on world poverty, and feeling like I made a difference in the world (even if it`s only in a very small way). For about a month now (since the orginal Surfside crew moved on), I`ve been going through the motions of work, eat, and sleep in making my way toward June 1st. I`ve been lying low in waiting for my departure time from Surfside to arrive.

On the other hand, my adventure is not without it`s fair share of feelings of apprehensiveness.
Again, I am venturing out into the unfamiliar and that is always frightening to a certain extent. What is living with a Filippino family going to be like? Will I go through culture shock again? What if I don`t have the necessary creative juices to be successful at this particular placement? What if I can`t find work when I come back into Australia as easily as I would like to? What if I dislike the work I secure? What if I try and "wing" my Malaysia and Philippines travel and wind up finding myself without a roof over my head or without transportation back to the main city to catch my flight? What if my passport goes missing? What if? What if?

WHAT IF???

I guess, at this point, the best way to deal with my concerns is by being as prepared as possible for any kind of obstacles that I may encounter along the way. This being said, my last ten days in Australia will be spent researching everything from currencies--- to climate--- to modes of transportation--- to town maps! Honestly, if one of my fellow backpackers were to see all of my printouts or witness all of my googling in the run of a day, they would look at me as though I had two heads with this look of utter disgust that reads "have you lost your freaking mind?".

But to tell you the truth--- it`s not so much the worry that leads to my overplanning--- it`s a love of being in control of every possiple situation--- and an insane love of learning & planning!

"Traveling is like flirting with life. It's like saying, 'I would stay and love you, but I have to go; this is my station.'"- Lisa St. Aubin de Teran

Fall Foliage in May???... How backwards!

" Leaves in the autumn come tumbling down,Scarlet and yellow, russet and brown,Leaves in the garden are swept in a heap,Trees are undressing ready for sleep."



Sometimes I find it pretty comical when I take a moment and really think of how very little I know about other parts of the world.

When I was packing to come away to Australia, I was focusing on tank tops, shorts, bikinis, and sleeveless tops. As I reluctantly chucked aside several skimpy tees to make room for a single sweatshirt, I thought to myself, "I`m packing this, but silly me--- I`m NEVER going to have need for a sweater in AUSTRALIA!" I had this glorified image of Australia as being that surreal foreign land across the ocean comprised of year- round pristine white sand beaches, 30 degree weather, and scorching hot weather that makes your skin melt day after day! Haha--- boy was I wrong! While there are in fact days in which you can get away with wearing merely a tank and a pair of short shorts, by evening--- (when the sun has set which is about 5pm these days! Yeah- I know! Craziness!) it is actually really chilly outside.

A few weeks ago, I actually added a second doona to my already existing one! Upon checking into my room a few months back, I found it odd that the hostel supplied comforters in Australia. I thought that a light sheet would have been suffice... and here I am these days harboring two doonas! haha

I am turned completely backwards as a result of the queer weather! It`s nearly June and I find myself kicking aside bright orange leaves as I make my walk down the streets of Sydney. With the days growing shorter, the weather resembling that of Fall back home, and the need for layered clothing all of a sudden, I am convinced that Christmas is just around the corner...

I AM SO COMPLETELY CONFUSED!!! EVERYTHING IS SO BLOODY BACKWARDS ALL OF A SUDDEN...

Working my way down my "Sydney" list... an overnight outing to the Blue Mountains...

With a mere three weeks left in Sydney, I am trying to make the most of my days by getting in as many touristy outings as I can manage (which with taking into account my $$$ budget, work schedule & pure lack of ambition= isn`t very many outings at all!)

a). I`m still a few hundred dollars shy of the savings goal I set out for myself upon first arriving in Sydney. Taking into account four more pay cheques from Surfside, I should JUST reach my goal, and so I`m determined not to overindulge in unneccesary extra- curricular activities around Sydney... I`ve got two more Psych courses to take, a trip to Malaysia, the Philippines, and Singapore, some time spent looking for work in Perth, another volunteer stint in another foreign country in which I won`t be working for a few months, combined with $$$ needed to take some time off to go home for Christmas---- + another plane ticket to the other side of the world for December... every single penny counts! & I`m determined to reach all of my 2008 goals!

b). I work every single day other than Fridays. I know it still leaves me ample day time to get out and do stuff, but by the time I wake up, go out for a walk, accomplish all of the little errands on that day`s list, and ready myself, those few evening hours that I do work are looming like a dark shadow...

c). I am just SUPER lazy these days! I guess it`s probably because the countdown is on and I`m just waiting to leave, but I literally just want to lie low and do some reading or watch some rented movies from the movie shop next door. Also, all of my roomates work during the daytime, so daytime is my quiet time---- that itty bitty amount of time that I can actually veg out and enjoy the quietness of the dorm room without the usual hustle and bustle of the other girls...
This weekend, I actually managed to take a bit of time away from the office to make it out to the Blue Mountains with Shaina and some friends of hers from Banff. One of her friends, Ben, is born and raised in a small town just shy of Katoomba (the entrance to the Blue Mountains), and his parents welcomed us into their home overnight. Again---- it was complete culture shock to walk around a house, see dogs perched on a couch, see a Dad at the barbecue, a bookshelf full of books, a proper washroom, an entertainment centre, a kitchen table...etc etc etc...

And I was also reminded of how much I MISS MOMS!!! From the moment we walked in the door, it was a constant "would you like a drink?", "do you find it too cold?", "are you hungry?", "would you like a hot drink?"... It felt soooooo nice to have someone want to pamper us!

We arrived later in the evening Friday night, had a nice barbecued meal at the dinner table (a proper dinner with baskets of food being passed around the table--- on real plates with real condiments! wahoo!). Afterwards, we all settled in the livingroom area where we spent the rest of the evening watching some rugby and underbelly reruns (Aussie show).

This morning, after having slept in a bit, we piled into Ben`s car (another luxury) and took a drive over to Katoomba, the entrance to the Blue Mountains. Now, having experienced the likes of the Canadian Rockies and the Grand Canyon, I didn`t feel that the Blue Mountains were worthy of all the psych that surrounds them. I mean--- sure they were a pretty site, but after a mere 20 minutes at the look-offs, we had seen enough... Enough said. You see, looking out at the "million dollar" view in Banff--- I find myself thinking to myself, "I could spend the rest of my days standing here taking in this view"--- not so much the thoughts that filled my head while peering off toward the Blue Mountains...

Now for a little bit of information on the Blue Mountains:

- They are approx. 48 km west of Sydney (a little of an hour`s drive?)

- They are a range of sanstone geological structures that reach to at least 1,190 metres.

- They are not a range of mountains, but rather a plateau with rugged eroded gorges of up to 760 metres depth.

- They appear blue from a distance which is caused by the release of volatile oils from eucalyptus forests.

- Home to the Three Sisters, a famous rock formation formed by erosion.
- More than 3 million people visit the Blue Mountains each year!

Just a few short weeks away!

My volunteer placement confirmation forthe Philippines has arrived! I am told that I will be living with a host family (Filipino) in Tacloban City (on Leyte Island) in the Philippines (about a 1hr flight from Manila). The following map sheds a little light on the exact location of Tacloban City in relation to Manila in the Philippines:

Information on my placement I`ve been provided with thus far:

" You will be working directly with and assisting social workers in the activities for the street children (non-formal education classes, monitoring and follow-up, interview with the child's family, etc). There will be scheduled saturation where the volunteer and the social worker go out on the streets at night until early morning to gather street kids and bring them to the center. You will help establish a program for the kids at the center that will uplift their will being, motivate and boost their self-esteem and the like that will keep them busy and not think about going back to the street and sniff glue."

"Currently, the Department of Social Welfare is constructing a facility to house and teach the street children. Most children who have settled on the streets have families of their own but turn to the streets in search of food. Glue sniffing, known as "rugby" in Tacloban, is a common addiction amongst the street children who turn to this drug to suppress their hunger pains. Volunteers can assist the Social Welfare Office in helping to give the simple things these children lack in life, such as compassion, trust, love, and food."

Home Stay

"Volunteers are placed with ordinary Filipino families so they can be immersed in the culture and witness first hand everyday life of a traditional local family. Host families are carefully selected to host international volunteers. Filipinos are incredibly hospitable and go out of their way to make their guests feel at home. The host families will provide the volunteers with two Filipino meals a day: breakfast and dinner. Volunteer will have their own private room, with a secured lock on the door. Most Filipino homes only have one C.R. (bathroom) for the entire family so the volunteer will have to share this with the family. "

"The problem with street children in Tacloban City was noticed in 1987, with a few children seen begging along the busy streets. Since then, that number has grown to about 200 and these children are not only begging, but also sniffing"rugby,"stealing from pedestrians, and young girls allowing themselves to be molested and sexually abused by men in the evenings.
The City Social Welfare and Development Office and local police have tried to rescue and return these children to their families, but the children continue to return in search of money, food, and glue to diminish their hunger pains.
The street children have become an eyesore to the visitors and residents in the commercial district. They hang around in fast food establishments, parking areas, bus terminals, supermarkets, and sidewalks. Their activities in the street include begging for money, selling plastic bags or assorted spices, watch or wash cars to name a few.
These children become victims of circumstances not of their own choice. At their early age, they become"instant adults"burdened by responsibilities of helping their parents earn a family income. Such situations expose them to unwholesome adult activities such as rugby sniffing, pick pocketing, stealing, and even prostitution. They likewise become victims of physical injuries from adults and worst is that they become victims of sexual exploitation.
A facility, funded by the government is being constructed in Tacloban to remove these children from the streets and provide them with a place to live. Besides the shelter, there is no money in the budget to provide the basic necessities for these children.
Volunteer for the Visayans, is committed to helping raise the funds to feed, clothe, and supply these kids with their basic needs such as beds to sleep on, school uniforms, transportation costs etc. These children need your help."

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And so in a mere four week`s time on June 1st (from today), I will be boarding a plane and making my way toward Malaysia where I will both lounge around and explore for 7 days. I have still not planned my Malaysia itinerary, but I hope to have the details worked out by the end of the week. I need a game plan! On June 8th, I will board yet another plane from Kuala Lumpur and make my way to Manila where I will spend the night in a hotel near the airport. Finally, the next day, I will find myself on yet another plane heading to Tacloban City (where a coordinator from my organization will meet me!) I still have quite a few last minute things that I need to organize before I leave Coogee. These pressing items are as follows:

1).- Plan and book my return trip to Australia.

2). - Get my Australian work visa stamped into my passport (I forgot to to it at the airport upon my arrival into the country)

3). - Stock up on donations for the Filipono children (toilettries, clothing, food, vitamins, books, etc)

4). - Apply to difer my student loan payments since I am officially a student again.

5). - Update resume so that it is ready for Western Australia (for next paid work stint in August)

6). - Hair highlighted & cut