A tug at my heart strings...

Sitting in my room with a troubled & lonely Cambodian girl last night reinforced my thoughts of wanting to work in a social worker position, preferably with an international component: international adoptions, refugee counseling, etc... As I sat watching this poor woman fall apart before me & listened to her pain--- it felt so unbelievably good to be able to be there for her... even if it was just lending an ear to her...

Working, living, & breathing the hostel--- surrounded by my group of friends who`ve been here as long as I have--- I admit that I can be pretty ignorant at times. I go about my day without really giving much attention to newcomers. I`ll extend a "hello" here & there, but that`s about it. For example, a few nights ago, a tiny Asian woman checked into the apartment. I was busy getting ready to go out and meet the Banffers in the city, so although I noticed her, a man, and a child settling into the corner bed near the washroom--- I wasn`t really paying too much attention to the scene.

The next two days that followed, I`d enter and exit the room, offering a simple greeting---going in & out of my room, thereby passing the Asian girl who most times would be quietly reading a magazine on the couch. I don`t think I was mean, but I also wasn`t going the extra mile to make small chat...

Last night at around 12:30 am, I took a quick jaunt up to reception to make sure things were under control (the drinking hangout). When I got back to apartment #3, this poor Asian girl was sitting alone on the couch, tears streaming down her face. I sat on the opposite couch and asked her if she was okay. Next thing I know--- she`s sobbing as she breaks down and tells me that she just arrived from Cambodia and is in Australia visiting her 6- year old daughter.

Six years ago, an Aussie traveler in Cambodia got her pregnant. Once the baby was born. By means of actions (because her English isn`t exceptional and the word caesarian is probably not one that she uses too often) I was able to understand that it had been a very difficult birth (as she`s just a tiny little thing). While she was recovering, the boyfriend had fled the country with the baby to come raise it in Australia. By the time the poor woman was able to seek legal aid in Cambodia, he already had a case built up--- he could provide a better life for the baby in Asutralia than she could ever possibly in Cambodia. This woman lives in Cambodia raising two other children---- one of her sister`s (a sister who was beaten to death by her own husband), and the other child whose mother died from HIV when she was just a baby. Anyways, don`t kid yourselves that this generous Aussie man flies the woman of his child in every year to see her. After years of struggling, the courts finally told him that he would have to fly her in once a year for one month and allow her $5/day spending money while in- country. Because her budget is $5/day, she can`t even afford to go anywhere in the city to explore (in Cambodia her income is $50 a month so it`s not like she can save to come here). Apparently there are about 8 members in her family, all of whom live in a one- room shack back in Cambodia. The things she was telling me about the standard of living in Cambodia were heartbreaking...

Anyways, the reason she was so upset and broke down in front of me is because she was supposed to see her daughter that day, but the father didn`t show up. Here I sat face to face with this heart broken woman --- who is struggling in a foreign country--- no money--- can barely speak the language--- frightened--- heartbroken--- and feeling all alone. I`m telling you--- it tore at my heart strings as I sat there listening to her. We watch movies about the sex trade in the Philippines, girls being kidnapped for ransom, White men buying Asian woman & children and it`s almost too shocking to believe. But it is very much real.... this woman is a prime example. An example of a woman who put her trust in a White man, only to be thrown aside like garbage and robbed of the only thing she ever really cared about... her baby girl.

The story of her daughter being taken from her was not the only heartbreaking part of the conversation. She also expressed her sadness at her age. She told me that what makes her most sad about losing her daughter to Australian society is that she knows in her heart that it will be her only one. Through her tears, she told me that any girl as skinny as she is considered a lepur in Cambodia. The men will automatically think she has AIDS and keep their distance. She also said that her age is a major factor. She says that at 28 no men will even give her a second thought. Women in Cambodia have babies at 14, 15, 16. They are desirable when they are young. Once a woman reaches 25 or 26--- it is almost impossible to find a man.

I sat awake for a long while last night trying to take it all in. I couldn`t shake the picture that had formed in my head--- A tiny frightened Cambodian woman who can barely speak English sitting down with a confident Australian little girl who speaks a mile a minute in English and who wouldn`t recognize even a word in Cambodian... A girl who is growing up with everything and who has no idea the extent to which it breaks her mother`s heart to have to stand by and watch from afar. F*CK!

I`ve been a bit apprehensive at the idea of leaving for the Philippines very shortly--- but listening to this woman`s story helped me to realize that there is nothing to be afraid of. I want to be of help and service to others who find themselves in less than desirable situations just like Samnang...